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Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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3:50 am - I had this thought...
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I don't really know what else to do, other than write the shit thats buggin me down. I dont wanna complain, I'm usually a person who likes to hear and listen to others, but at this very moment, my frustration need to go somewhere and that somewhere is to whom ever reads this. First off, I hate this thing. Live journal. I can't stand the fact that I can sit here and write what I think and FEEL, and then erase it because I don't know how people will react to it. But thats just it. I dont fuckin care, and thats such a good feeling.
Something thats been bugging me is the fact that I dislike many people in our culture and in our world. Our culture is all about what i have just dimissed. Image. It's all about the way you look and the things you supposably accomplish. Usually in our culture, accomplishing something is when you have lots of money and you buy a new car, TV, houses or 200 hundred dollar sunglasses. accomplishment is everything but that, and it's so sad our culture sees it this way. To me accomplishment has everything to do with the way YOU have become as a person and what you do with your life. Ethics. No one seems to have any. Its as simple as the golden rule: Treat others how you would liked to be treated. Not lets fuck people over, just so I can have an extra buck to buy something that wont even matter when I'm dead. The really sad thing is, is that everyone thinks that the items they posses, are what makes there life "happy." But in all honesty the best things in life are not what you buy to pass the time, but how you spend your time with others you love. Because in the end death may end a life, but it does not end a relationship. But these things you posses don't have feelings, but the people around you do, and you make people feel good, then you have accomplished something.
To me accomplishment has everything to do with how far you can stretch yourself and your potential. If you go through life blinded by all this commodity, your not gonna be able to see the big picture. And the big picture is whats in front of everyone. LIFE. Live your life. Live it with love, live it with kindness, live it with forgivness, live it up. Love eachother or perish.
~K. Lang
current mood:  refreshed
current music: Sparta
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| Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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11:30 pm - Sometimes you just need to ramble on...
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Fuckin LJ...
sometimes it just feels right to write...
But For some reason it just seems weird to write down all my inner thoughts/feelings and have them displayed for anyone to read... So ill write those to myself...
shake for me girl, I wanna be your back door man...
eventhough I like to read others... hypocrisy will be the end of me...
anyway I saw "Open Water" tonight and it was a pretty intense movie.. fuckin sharks knawing at you in the middle of the night... F that... but do recomend to watch other people be used as shark bait...
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you and if the mountains crumbled to the sea, it would still be you and me...
Saw Mr. sterm at the movies. Talked about teaching and he gave me a good idea of trying to become a special ed major along with education... strongly taking it into consideration...
Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...
Ramble on!
Fuckin LJ..
current mood:  hopeful
current music: Zepplin If you couldnt tell....
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| Monday, March 15th, 2004
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7:25 pm - Follow the Yellow Brick Road...
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Bite my tongue every time you come around... cause blood in the mouth beats.....blood on the ground....
Halo insanity....16 people = most fun I've ever had.... just have to stop throwin shit..:)
If you haven't seen Wizard of Oz with Pink floyd's "dark side of the moon"... Do it! Don't even have the volume up on the movie, just the music... Fucking amazing, and so much fun... Maybe smoke something before hand... You will love it.
7 leaf clover under my pillow...
another new hat, another late night, and another birthday party... Another chapter unfinished...
but another began...
current mood:  curious
current music: APC - The package
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| Saturday, February 21st, 2004
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1:06 pm - Cried the second time around...
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The best part of being home, stayin up late playing halo and relaxin with good people. Second best, Tanias Pizza and cheesy breadsticks for breakfast. Thanks Grandma Godfrey. Green leather couch's would be Perfect. Maybe a couple lamps, silverwear, pots pans, $10,000 would be nice. mmmmmm Perfect. Thank you for today.
Got to see my nieces and "Miracle" again and did the same thing as when I saw it the first time... Herb Brooks is my god...
Bruce went nuts and bought more weight equipment, wants to maybe knock down my wall to make the whole basement a gym.... I like the idea to be able to use it this summer, but also Like my room...
Planning Colorado out, 24th is the wedding maybe come out before that, the Ritz anyone? Maybe try skiing this time.
Erik is reading that one book, about that guy who left everything to survive in alaska w/ the school bus on the cover of the book...yea that one...funny eh?
I might have to get more Tanias...
I hate cold toilet seats...
current mood:  determined
current music: New Incubus
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| Thursday, February 5th, 2004
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5:05 pm - He said she said bullshit
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Goin home tomorrow... Wooooo... Parents are going to Jamaica aparntly on saturday. So I'll have the house to myself. My "G/F" Kels and Mer will keep me company for the ride. Then its off to slopes to snowboard with Harn Gavin and Dustin.YAAA!!!! Maybe a canadia run, and maybe show mom my tatoo....uhhhh, maybe.
Chaotic McDonalds lunch, Gavin knows everyone...
(4:50:41 PM): no, but we're clOSE.... Seems to be False
Carear fairs Suck... I don't want a one anymore
House shopping anyone?
current mood: optimistic
current music: 311
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| Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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12:49 am - we can float without water wings and laugh....
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Might be goin home, straighten things out and try to get a quote for painting. I just need to get away from here for a little while, before I die. 'Sometime's you have to look at the person for who they are that day, Instead of the image that you have in your head'. Thanks Jay, my good buddy Jay. Need to find a house pretty soon for next year, Dustin Matt tim and I. Wish Next year would just be here already. Wish I could see myself in 9 months as well. I wish I wish I wish. I wish I had made a choice before, wish I didnt need a new surpitean belt for the jeep, wish I had another option, I wish I wish I wish. Funny how you guys are roomates. It figures. With out bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all. Maybe feeling bad for myself gets me no where. Need a change.
current mood:  scared
current music: Stabbing Westward - save yourself
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| Monday, January 26th, 2004
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12:56 am - Down, down, down...pick me up I'm falling
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Never know quit what to think
Drained and weathered. Cold and weak
I had it all had it near
Love and tenderness disappeared
Should have known, should have guessed
The empty lines, the empty breaths
The black sunshine upon my back
Labels times of bitter paths
Taste the fear, the loneliness
Empty promise and phoniness
I feel alone and defeated
Feels without you, I’m not completed
I pull my hat down below my face
And contemplate for better days
No more days with exciting twists
Those are the days I’m gonna miss
~Kyle~ 1/25/04
current mood:  numb
current music: DMB - Lover lay down
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| Saturday, June 7th, 2003
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8:10 pm
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Got a lot of time onmy hands right now and I feel like writting. I went to Canada last night for the first time. It was more then I expected lots of people lots of fun lots of drunkenness and hot body contest .... woo hooo but i gotta go find something to do Imbbored
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Tim talking
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| Saturday, May 31st, 2003
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3:11 pm
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SORRY LJ Haven't written in a month I'm back though
current mood:  frustrated
current music: a computer humming
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| Monday, April 28th, 2003
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1:08 pm
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Hey livejournal.com how are you? havnt talk to you in a bit... Remember when school is done...welll.... for a week atleast then I got another class, butonly one for the summer. But it's with Dustin so it should be alright... I think today is the day Im gonna get my ass into shape well I have been off and on but the last two weeks iv done nothing.ZERO bc of studies.... fuckin school Oh well..Summer is here and Im happy...should be an interesting summer I would like to see where I am after it is all said and done..... hehehehehe
current mood:  dirty
current music: System of a Down
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| Saturday, April 19th, 2003
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11:31 pm - Weekend reviews ~Robert Lang~
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Hmmmm, What a week, nothing but drunken stupidity last weekend... my god... to many people in my house. I dont think I'll throw something to that magnitude again because people can not be TRUSTED! Fuck... if you go to someone elses house who are nice enough to throw you a party, You dont steal shit, you dont break bottles over your own fuckin head, you dont punch yourself repeatedly till you bleed you dont have wrestling matches in a kitchen and role joints in your own car, not on top of my fathers Lexus you prick...
Never again....
Other than that I was drunk and pitching into baskets and toilets... although she should have takin advantage of the situation and kicked my ass like last time, She stood behind me making me commodious,washing my hands cleaning up the mess I made, b/c thats what I was... others did nothing, and some were envious of "us"...I didnt deserve it from her, but...Shes somethin ...
"Cause I know the pieces fit because I have watched them fall apart" (ironically paying at this very moment)
"Over thinking over anylyzing seperates the body from the mind"
Rest of the week was full of scholarly efforts.... making sure that next year, this house will just be memories and no more present dangers. I know why Erik never comes home... It's the Godfrey nonsense and Powertrips....fucking assholes...Its never thier fault, because they are never wrong... FUCK YOU... just wish it was me my brother and my mom... carful what you wish... more importently be carful what you say...
"point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple tople over...rediscover communication!!"
Hey LANG Senior.... fuck you too... Cause things arent what they seem so have great easter all alone...asshole
Who the fuck do I turn too????!!
Where is everyone tonight...What a bust
current mood: cynical
current music: TOOL-Lateralus
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| Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
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9:53 am
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Oh man my dreams were so messed up haha but interesting... I and like 8 other girls and Seth were hanging out in some apartment. I know merry was there and I remember emily bein there too and there were like 5 other girls. ANYWAY so one of them decided that we take a shower and all of a sudden I was getting undressed and there were naked girls everywhere hahaha and we were in this like nice clean public shower but before i got in i left the room naked to get a towel. Came back and some one told us that we coudnt shower and everyone started dancing liek it was a dance club....what the fuck? I was pissed.. screw the dance club and I woke up for work.... hmmmm what would freud say?
current mood:  mischievous
current music: LP
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| Monday, April 7th, 2003
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11:24 pm
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Uh oh I got my head phones on.... you know what that means... sorry about the random quotes.. hehe. Anyway Today had work this morning got thee at 7:00 and 5 minutes later there was 19 inches of snow...what the fuck! I hate this shit it makes my head go sakjhfksfhaskjh. this quote is very close to how i feel sometimes.... " I wanna heal I wanna feel what i thought was never real , iwanna let go of the pain i felt so loooong, I wanna feel i wanna heal like im close to something real I wanna find somehting i wanted all along... I will never know myself until i do this on my own... I will break away I will find myself today." I had a test today, got an 89% not bad but not an A eh? I need those A's. Took a nap well tried but of course my om sucks and hHAD to vacuum the living rom and started vacuuming me so i would wake up and move... so i got cranky ...surprise. " I am a little bit insecure a little bit unconfident cause " So i cant find my keys.... another surprise I lose fucking everything i gotta start bein more responsible. Work was alright but kids = crazy sometimes ..specially dylan the little kindergardener who does not listen and when you get mad at him for not keeping his hands to himself he turns it around and gets mad at me and and says "fine I m not sitting with you today" and refuses to listen to you no matter what you say. oh man that kid is a hastle. He is probably my favorite kid there because he has his moods where hes so funny and random, and says the funnest shit ever haha One time i was talking to him about power rangers and my supervisor came over and asked what we were up to and he says to her "excuse me this is between me and mr. Kyle, you wouldn't know about it." hahaha ...stuff like that makes me love my job.
I can't wait till saturday when my rents go to FLORIDA!!! party !! The house to myself cept my step sister will be here :/ Oh well
Applesauce sauce is sleepin shhhh, I Think early bed time will be a good idea tonight sense i was up till 2 00 last night...hmmmmm
7159: Why do you have to be at that? some huge deal? you're not even religous!!!!!!
Hmmmmmmmmmm mmaybe not .... 7159: head or other?
HAHAHAHA way to be
I love it when ex girl friends say ...went over to my friends house to play darts it was fun... Whatever just say his name cause i dont fuckin care ne more!! because "i know i will never trust single word you say you knew your lies would devide us be you lied anyway and all the lies have got you floating up above us all but what goes up has got to fall!....and then its all gone !"
current mood: and the infinate sadness
current music: Meteora- linkin park
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2003
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10:06 pm
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My cousin brandi IS THE SHIT! YOU DONT FUCK AROUND HERE NO MORE " I would rather stab them then shoot them" crazyness... but you gotta love her.
current mood: proud
current music: Linkin Park what?!
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4:43 pm
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Fun night last night. went to jays aunt's house who had a kegger and there were a ton of people there. Drank a bunch played cards, socialized. Free styled on the kareokee machine lol. oh man good times wrestling matches in the snow with the video camrara, jays aunt going nuts. Renee came out talk to her for a bit, shes trying to be Careful with that one guy she wants to take it really slow I dont know. Kate was getting hit on by doug and Warren it was great haha. Her roomate came with us, she seems really nice but really quiet. Stayed up for anther whole night.... which is twice in the last two days.. and went to soccer at 11 30 and im still up but probably not for long...Kathryn likes to talk shit ....it's funny....Udontlike7159: I HAD A 3 SOME LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Udontlike7159: bah... that wasn't really merry saying that...
it's ok merry don't cry
Yea wednesday it is i geuss ... hopefully there will be no P. S. hehehe
current mood:  sore
current music: Fast car
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| Saturday, April 5th, 2003
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2:05 am
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wow goin on 45 hours of little sleep.... tongiht was fun/alright, went and saw that one movie...shit...with chris rock..something with "state" in the name... Oh well... with renee,ray and sheldon.. it was corny but funny then got some white coco at caribou came home chilled with ray and renee, bruce had guys night and the wings and pistons played. Im really relieved now because my paper is done and complete , the weight has been lifted. Suppose to play hockey with seth tomorrow but it snowed in April whiich sucks!! I was waiting on here to see if anyone would come on but it doesn't seem to look like it. SO im off to bed....
current mood:  exhausted
current music: none :(
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| Friday, April 4th, 2003
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5:24 am
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Hey, I just finished my paper, i tried typin my work cited but it wouldnt indent the right way and im so stupid when I'm this tired. I was literally falling asleep while writting my paper, I was having dreams but my hands were still typing....oh im so tired but theres no point of going to bed i got work at 7...
current mood: tired
current music: Jimmy eat world
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12:13 am
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Yea I'm up writting my paper stll hehehe.... Oh man the cofee is making me fucking nuts. Im hearing every rain drop hit the roof of my house and its driving me insane!!!! pit pit pti pit pit is the sound. Did you know that we are all African americans? or American/san bushmen? yea ...now i can be like DETROIT WHAT?!! without feeling out of place ...aahh im so tired and still got a lot to do...sorry if I dont talk to anyone online, im busy if you didnt know..... its only worth 60% of my grade.
current mood: frustrated
current music: your mother screaming
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| Thursday, April 3rd, 2003
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2:31 pm
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Who the hell likes horseradish??? EWWWW so nasty
current mood:  nauseated
current music: mozart
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8:49 am
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Today will be the most stressfull day of my life. My research paper is due TOMORROW! what the fuck... where did the time go? I have to write some of it still and type it ALL out. If My computer wasn't F'in retarded I would have it typed out already, but it likes to tell me I saved my paper when it really didn't! Failure. I know it's gonna be one of those night where I'm popin cafine pills to stay awake... Oh well I gotta do what I gotta do. Algebra is in an hour and a half and i gotta eat, do the homework and shower. I gotta pee and my stomach is pissed at me, but of course there is no milk in this house....I mean why would there be milk?
current mood:  hungry
current music: Drew and Mike
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